It’s suppose to be one black and white photo a day for seven days but I feel inspired. I am available for birthdays, wedding and bar mitzvahs.
A woman got on the number 43 bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “Ugh, that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!”
The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!”
The man says: “You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”
The late, great Tommy Cooper.
Quiet night in with the Mrs Tonight. Went out for ‘date night’ last night (don’t tell the Mrs). Joke. We went to the cinema to watch The Snowman. I had great hopes for it. Although I hadn’t seen any reviews, it had a good cast and was based on a Norwegian novel. I haven’t read it but I’m quite a fan of Nordic Noir.
The night didn’t get off to a good start as she was running late and wanted me to wait to buy the popcorn, etc. to go in with. I used to get one of the buckets of coke and pour a quarter bottle of overproof rum in it but times have changed. We queued for a good ten minutes behind some halfwits, who couldn’t decide between nachos or popcorn, before another cashier came to assist with the tailback, “next customer please”.
I started for the till as we were next to be served but out of nowhere comes this idiot in an orange cagoule who has only just joined the end of the queue. I know people think that we English love queues. This is not the case but there has to be some kind of order and it is the best system we have come up with. If we didn’t have queues then we would descend into anarchy, i.e. France.
I said loudly and assertively (could have been misinterpreted as anger), “REALLY?” He looked at me in disbelief, because someone had actually challenged him for his heinous actions, and he sheepishly stepped back. I am pretty sure that I would have tore him limb from limb if there had there been any reciprocation from the heathen.
Usually, we just tut under our breath at the bad manners of other and then complain to our partners and friends when out of earshot. When someone actually stands up and says something, we are all very embarrassed and stare at our shoes or the other direction as we dislike confrontation more than those that do not follow the rules of queues. This happen to me. They tried to shame me but I knew I was in the right.
The film was shit.
Forgot to post last night…